Anyway, on yesterday's post, I wanted to respond to Sarah. So I figure I'll just blog it. :)
The way my son is behaving is definitely part of his age, as well as part of going through the transition from his father's house to mine. I remember 9 to 14 as the most awkward years of my life. The thought of my son going through that makes me cry, because I had an awful time during those years, and I remember feeling like no one understood me.
Being here helps with that, I think, because I drag my son out of that video game world and encourage other activities. I don't let him spend a lot of time alone in his room, and certainly not with a computer or his iPod. He has a tendency to watch useless or annoying videos on YouTube, or inappropriate ones about video games and full of adult language. YouTube is off-limits in our home, though he may watch music videos under supervision. Though if I let him do that, I'll be hearing him sing "Gangnam Style" all day long.
Of course, I do realize he needs alone time, so I make sure he gets it. In fact, my husband purchased my son his very own Super Nintendo and assorted classic games, like Mario World. It hasn't arrived yet, but any day now... Classic gaming was more challenging than many modern games, with an emphasis on problem solving. This is something we're happy to encourage.
But I try to balance that out with time spent pursuing interests that do not have the word "Nintendo" in them. ;)
I think things will smooth out somewhat as we settle down into a routine. The rest? I guess I have to wait until sometime after puberty.
Er, my son's, not mine.
I hugged him last night and realized how darn solid he feels. He's almost as tall as me too. So I guess it won't be long. You know, I'm ready for the easy stuff, like talking about sex and drugs. I'm not so ready for the emotional stuff, though.
That is, I'm not ready for the emotions I'm feeling as I watch him grow up. He's still my baby.
Copyright (c) 2013 Wendy L. Callahan
Awww you used a whole blog post to write about it! Yes, my son is almost as tall as I am, too; thankfully he isn't solid yet. He's still boy-squishy. And you're right... I think if we're there for them (my parents kind of zoned out about this age for me as well), they'll do all right. I just have to breathe and let go.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think that's exactly it. Yesterday, I was trying to get my son to talk to me, because he seemed to be in a down mood, but he was more interested in talking to my husband.
DeleteSo later I burst into tears, wondering why I'm not the person he feels he can come to and rely on now. Hubby said he clammed up too when he was a pre-teen, and I thought about it and, yes, I did the same thing. He also said maybe my son just felt more comfortable talking about his feelings to a guy for a change.
It would be nice if they could remain a nice, uncomplicated 6 or 7-years-old forever...
...but then they wouldn't have the ability to pursue their dreams. So I just have to accept that he's going through changes and growing up. ^.^